Everyone once in a while I am lucky and blessed with a moment where I can feel my sister. I actually feel her as if I could reach out and touch her. Reagan was blessed today and I was holding him. He was so cuddly, but oh boy he was wet! That boy soaked his diaper! Being the awesome aunt I am his mom gathered up his stuff and I took him to the bathroom to change his diaper.
As I was in there alone I couldn't help but remember 5 years ago when I was in the bathroom after I blessed Haylee with Meridith changing her. Meridith took one of the only pictures I have of Haylee in her blessing dress. It was not the memory of that day with Haylee, but rather that moment I had with my sister. We were laughing and being how we always were together.
While I had Reagan on the changing table he looked over my shoulder and smiled the biggest smile. He then followed something with this grin on his face. It was HUGE! I just stood there and felt her there with us. As if she knew that I had been missing her the most these days and needed her.
When we went back into the chapel my mom I think went up to bear her testimony and talked of Brett saying a part of all this that saddens him is that his children will not know Meridith the way Haylee does. Don't get me wrong, Haylee was only 6 months old when Meridith was taken, and yes she was held in Meridith's arms and I have pictures.. but Reagan saw her there in the bathroom and he smiled at her, because he knows her. Haylee didn't get the spirit world with Meridith like Reagan did... He knows her. It is up to us now to keep her memories around and talk about her so that our children WILL know her. Haylee will never know her the way I did. But I talk of Meridith to Haylee every time something comes up.
I am thankful for the moment I had in the bathroom and even more thankful Reagan and I got to have it together, alone. As much as I miss her, I am not as sad now as I was before. I have her comfort with me and I always will. Even if I need these simple moments to remind myself of it every now and again.
3 comments:
oh Rachel ...that is ...so precious ..a treasured experience..thank you
That's really special. It's good you wrote it down so you can share it again with Reagan as he gets older.
I love this.
Post a Comment